go figure....sorry for the tough week and any thought of "back-sliding" just points to how far forward your emotional leaps of faith have moved you and allowed for the occasional and not unhealthy correction which the former A student would perhaps never have tolerated
"The rhythm might be off, the steps might be clumsy, but the dance goes on." YES.
This was a rollercoaster ride and I was squealing the whole way. Chest tightening. Tensed shoulders. Uuuuuffff. I also wanted to squeeze you and pet your hair. God, have I been there. This reminded me of the anxiety I felt working in couture with crying women lamenting over lost ballgowns and the most wild quarrels between employees. It could have been a reality show. Your work is far more important and an absolute necessity. I love that you care so deeply and put your whole heart into it. I'm also very proud of you for doing something about it. A lot of people don't and exist within the aching walls of silent suffering. I hope you are proud of you too. 🥹❤️🔥
So glad I saved this piece for today because I think I could only appreciate your perspective for a reset after the week I had myself. Happily fell inside that lego filled room with you as you navigated through a beautifully honest visual here! 💚
"Our brains, these marvels of evolution, reveal themselves as masters of sabotage, trapping us in loops of our own making."
yep yep yep yep. A few months ago I wrote about how life felt like Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football. you think you've progressed so much, until you backslide and feel like you're going nowhere. now that I'm on the other side of it, I can see what that feeling was - just a step to the side of the journey onwards.
I love how you balance the heaviness of anxiety with a touch of humor and self-awareness. The way you describe your job and your anxiety as a "warped superpower" is brilliant. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in feeling like a "scared animal" sometimes. I totally get the whole “twistin' myself free” vibe.
ohhh babyyyyy this is exactly what i needed to read - and where i’ve been lately, too. the chaos inciting the overwhelming waves.
what is it about playing a song on repeat x a million that is just THE BEST? i’ve done it ever since i was a kid. i’d specifically play certain john mayer songs on repeat to fall asleep to when i was convinced id marry him (kinda still am convinced hahahaha ) and sometimes when i’m dancing i play a song on repeat, too, and eventually everything, all the anxiety and fear, loosens and releases from my body
Oh my! I love the image of you dancing around freely! There’s more of that ahead for us, I can see it! And songs on repeat but not because we’re nervous but because the songs are bangers
It’s a total paradox, finding the key by slowing down rather than punching all the control panels. The job sounds interesting though, for a second I wasn’t sure if you were being literal or metaphorical - the archivist in your own head going through files and artifacts. Goes so well with what we do when we replay the stories in our anxiety spirals.
So many gems here Caroline. I cannot imagine the pressures of preserving the past- yikes!
“a maze of shelves with delusions of order” I love that line so much.
And I love the idea that just because we’re stuck, it doesn’t mean we’re not still moving forward. It can be so disheartening to feel like we’re back in a place we’d thought we left, but you’re right, it’s all part of the process, it’s all part of the journey, and figuring out how to get through it is as important, if not more important, than preventing it from happening again.
Thank you as always for sharing these beautiful inner moments. Gonna go check out that song now.
I’m sorry you went through that. It’s intense to feel that spiral—and so hard not to isolate, even though that’s the very last thing we need. I just had a similar day…I think success isn’t having those feelings disappear, but lessening the time in the quicksand. For me, anyway.
This was exactly the kind of reading my heart needed today, my friend. So beautiful and realistic. I LOVE you for sharing such great reflections. xx
Yay!! This makes me happy!! Thank you so so much for all the support and love ❤️ 🤍
amy winehouse does it for me
go figure....sorry for the tough week and any thought of "back-sliding" just points to how far forward your emotional leaps of faith have moved you and allowed for the occasional and not unhealthy correction which the former A student would perhaps never have tolerated
That woman’s voice gives me goosebumps every time
live at bbc the jazz musicians she surrounds herself with are unreal, surreal how they blend with her moody touch yeah 😇
Haha you’re right! I was less understanding back then 🙃
Anxiety...but with diamonds!!!
"The rhythm might be off, the steps might be clumsy, but the dance goes on." YES.
This was a rollercoaster ride and I was squealing the whole way. Chest tightening. Tensed shoulders. Uuuuuffff. I also wanted to squeeze you and pet your hair. God, have I been there. This reminded me of the anxiety I felt working in couture with crying women lamenting over lost ballgowns and the most wild quarrels between employees. It could have been a reality show. Your work is far more important and an absolute necessity. I love that you care so deeply and put your whole heart into it. I'm also very proud of you for doing something about it. A lot of people don't and exist within the aching walls of silent suffering. I hope you are proud of you too. 🥹❤️🔥
It was my “Bear” week!! No screaming and hardly any drama but still nerve-wrecking.
I’m glad it made sense, it felt garbled to me but I posted it anyway lol.
I do think those crying ladies would have sent me over the edge. So I’m glad you left.
And hey, at least I have people call and places to vent…that counts for a lot! Proud of us both!❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
We live through this consciousness that is powerful enough to create heaven or hell in an instant ❤️ love the neuroscience 👊
Yes!! It’s incredible what we’re capable of building and then dismantling…all from the same source!! 🤍
Thanks for the window, but, I can’t begin to fathom this. I’d say, you need a new occupation. I’m sure I simply do not exist on your level.
Ha thanks! I really do love it...just seemed to be a week of problems that I could not escape.
So glad I saved this piece for today because I think I could only appreciate your perspective for a reset after the week I had myself. Happily fell inside that lego filled room with you as you navigated through a beautifully honest visual here! 💚
Thank you so much!! It fills my heart when anyone fields familiarity in these words! I’m grateful! 🤍🤍
"Our brains, these marvels of evolution, reveal themselves as masters of sabotage, trapping us in loops of our own making."
yep yep yep yep. A few months ago I wrote about how life felt like Charlie Brown and Lucy with the football. you think you've progressed so much, until you backslide and feel like you're going nowhere. now that I'm on the other side of it, I can see what that feeling was - just a step to the side of the journey onwards.
Yes! It’s just a step in the journey, I love that. Thank you so much!! 🤍
I love how you balance the heaviness of anxiety with a touch of humor and self-awareness. The way you describe your job and your anxiety as a "warped superpower" is brilliant. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in feeling like a "scared animal" sometimes. I totally get the whole “twistin' myself free” vibe.
This comment brings me such joy!! I hope to inject humor but you never really know if it’s going to land.
We’re all just scared babes, but it’s comforting to know we’re in it together ❤️
ohhh babyyyyy this is exactly what i needed to read - and where i’ve been lately, too. the chaos inciting the overwhelming waves.
what is it about playing a song on repeat x a million that is just THE BEST? i’ve done it ever since i was a kid. i’d specifically play certain john mayer songs on repeat to fall asleep to when i was convinced id marry him (kinda still am convinced hahahaha ) and sometimes when i’m dancing i play a song on repeat, too, and eventually everything, all the anxiety and fear, loosens and releases from my body
Oh my! I love the image of you dancing around freely! There’s more of that ahead for us, I can see it! And songs on repeat but not because we’re nervous but because the songs are bangers
Helllz yes. Here's to all the bangers and joyous dance parties to come!!
Keep dancing , keep moving forward :-).
That’s all we can do! Thank you!!
gratidão
this I’ll read many times today
Thank you so much!! 🤍
Just listened to the song. It's amazing. It so addictive and good. You're right!
Yay! I’m glad you like it!
It’s a total paradox, finding the key by slowing down rather than punching all the control panels. The job sounds interesting though, for a second I wasn’t sure if you were being literal or metaphorical - the archivist in your own head going through files and artifacts. Goes so well with what we do when we replay the stories in our anxiety spirals.
The archivist of my wild mind and literal archivist! I guess it means I’m always practicing my craft lol.
Thanks for being here 😊
Can I just say I LOLed reading “business, unfortunately, is booming.” Like I heard it in your voice so clearly I love it. LOVE IT
Hahaha this makes me happy!!!
So many gems here Caroline. I cannot imagine the pressures of preserving the past- yikes!
“a maze of shelves with delusions of order” I love that line so much.
And I love the idea that just because we’re stuck, it doesn’t mean we’re not still moving forward. It can be so disheartening to feel like we’re back in a place we’d thought we left, but you’re right, it’s all part of the process, it’s all part of the journey, and figuring out how to get through it is as important, if not more important, than preventing it from happening again.
Thank you as always for sharing these beautiful inner moments. Gonna go check out that song now.
Ahhh thank you so much! This piece felt like delusions of order. I so appreciate your continued support.
I hope you love it 😍
I love it! Added to my happy playlist ☺️🎶
I’m sorry you went through that. It’s intense to feel that spiral—and so hard not to isolate, even though that’s the very last thing we need. I just had a similar day…I think success isn’t having those feelings disappear, but lessening the time in the quicksand. For me, anyway.
Yes! And acknowledging that you’re in the quicksand phase. At least I can come here and vent 😂❤️