My goodness have I been feeling this. I'm glad to know it's not just me... I thought the fact that my baby was getting bigger was causing me so much panic. Bruce helped me slow down so much--an almost 9-month wintering, and I have resisted rushing back to the world, even as I've done it. I can't tell you how helpful it is to hear your story and to know.... maybe this is simply the experience of spring. Of transitioning: even to the stuff we want, even when it's good, it hurts a little. Maybe that's just the cost of living tenderly. And your 48 hours on the couch tale--so rich, so relatable. That's why we're lucky to be writers: because even the bad stuff becomes our point of connection.
And the story goes on n on. Who is this who feels bad, shameful and guilty? Everything is as it should be. Being at peace with what is, whether organized, structured and productive or chaotic, soda drinking, tv watching etc. Everything is needed at the right time. It is what it is as of the moment and a good practice to offer unconditional love.
All changes, all transitions, we are the driver, our choices never wrong, it is just always in an interesting point in time.
It's amazing that we can write about these things and it creates space between the thing written and the writer. Being able to identify, analyze and asses these things make us not totally that. We are watchers, observers and integrators/creators. And in this space there is safety.
My goodness, this resonated so deeply. To hear that I’m not alone is a balm to the soul. I typically love spring and count down the days to cherry blossoms (I’m also in DC!), daffodils, creeping phlox, all the good stuff. But… this year… it’s been a hard transition. I think it’s because my energy feels misaligned with the energy around me and it’s disorienting. Here’s to being graceful with ourselves and walking through this season at a pace that feels nourishing.
Sarah, thank you!!! This year the resistance felt harder than ever…whatever the reasoning, I’m so glad I’m not alone. (I really want to do DMV writers coffee/meet up this year. I’m keeping you in mind!)
Gorgeous words. Thanks for describing the roughness of transitions, even the ones you want. My autistic son has always struggled with transitions of all kinds, and we’ve learned so many ways to support him - and your words land in me in a whole new way & reminded me of the importance of supporting ourselves through those moves.
And I gasped at the pending loss of the cherry trees, I hadn’t heard that. I was in Japan one season, just at the beginning. I loved learning that those trees were in DC, too
At first, I thought this was much to do about nothing, Caroline, to be honest. Within a few moments, I realized I was going through the same thing! This is BEAUTIFUL and well written as always. I’m just glad it seems there’s only two seasons a year now: Winter andSummer, lol. Thank you!!
You did, Caroline! Now it’s 27° again, and that journey seems more like a nightmare. March always fools me. I love how you brought out how accustomed we get to the “sameness” of anything, really. When I had to quit my job, which I really liked, I thought I would enjoy being able to sit on my porch in the mornings and feed the birds and squirrels and watch the sunrise. I could not figure out why I was depressed. But you nailed it in your post— and I’m paraphrasing here— Any change of routine (including seasons) leads to unexpected consequences— I kept waking up three hours earlier than I had to, and found myself missing my bus and wondering what my passenger’s day was like. It took me a while to pull out of that! Instead of making an assumption about your article, I should’ve known you would come through as you ALWAYS do! Thanks, Caroline. ❣️✨☀️
Springtime here is like walking up a sand dune. Two steps forward and one back. Today we are in the sunshine thinking about tomatoes, tomorrow we will stare in disbelief at six inches of fresh snow.
So I try to live by my lifelong motto: I am a mudflap on the truck of life. I choose to remain flexible and willing to travel.
And always, by the day after the day after tomorrow’s snow, I will again be thinking about tomatoes.
Caroline, I’ve been roaring for spring to get started and yet your words quieted me and made me reflect on the good of winter I’m leaving behind which is a huge feat since I generally detest winter. I wish you the most luxurious transition to spring, I hope it unravels slowly, thoughtfully, and as gracefully as your words. ❤️
I have been craving spring for the entire winter. I was never ready for winter and honestly, I don't want another one. We had two plus weeks of spring which ended a few days ago. Imagine my disappointment waking up to fresh new snow when the cleats had already happily disengaged from their respective boots! Yet I put them back on for two more days.
Your sentence, 'Still, existing demands that I continue rebirthing myself, requiring that I loosen the hold on who I was to make room for who I can become.' hit home for me. I am currently having weekly sessions with a somatic healer and the 'things' we've uncovered, or rather that I have let be uncovered with eager vulnerability and volunteerism, seems to be helping in this. I'm at a point where my next transition, albeit appropriately timed with the beginning of spring, might just feel like all of those cherry trees when this is said and done.
This was a beautiful piece. I make sure I save your pieces for when I am calm and can take in every single word. Today was the day for you. Many hugs...
Elisabeth, I put up my winter coats two weeks ago and had to pull them back out this past weekend…no snow but I feel that pain!
I’m leaning that so much looseness is required and that’s scary and amazing. I just have to figure out the right balance. I’m so so so grateful to you, always! It brings me such joy that you are here ☺️❤️
This is so beautifully written and relatable. This year I couldn't bond with summer (I'm in the southern hemisphere). Its bright outgoing energy kept shaming me for wanting to stay in hibernation. Autumn has come as a welcome relief. The external world finally aligns with the internal world.
Sometimes we need rotting into mush to grow back into solid form. This was beautiful, Caroline. I’m so glad I waited until I could read this with my full attention. The visuals you describe with such rich detail make me so happy. I, too, felt myself tugging against spring. As much as I adore spring, it is a looming reminder that summer is not far behind. I loathe summer. The heat and sun triggers my migraines with aura. Summer is my hibernation phase.
I’m so excited for you to see the cherry blossoms!!! (Going to Japan to see them is on my bucket list.) I hope you’ll share your trip and some pics with us! 🌸🍒💗
Jenovia, your comment makes me soooo happy! Thank you!
The Winter to Spring transition is LOUD…I don’t like loud but I do like flowers and a light breeze. I’m trying to hold close the parts of this that feel best. And I hadn’t thought of it until now, but I loathe summer — no doubt that is in the back of my mind.
The blossoms are so gorgeous and I’m going to get one more peak on Friday!!
What a journey you've taken us through Caroline. You writing slows me down and makes me breathe, which we could all use more of. Thank you ❤️.
Two things come to mind after reading this. The first is how important it is to remind ourselves, as we are living and breathing and embracing the soft, mysterious space of transition, that challenge and suffering are not synonymous, though it is so easy to confuse the two. The second, which is the way I've learned to combat the confusion, is the approach of coveting the challenge, letting myself be turned on by the danger of diving face first into it.
Aw so lovely. It reminds me of something an old friend of mine used to call “the violence of spring.”
I LOVE that!!
Transition takes courage (or blind stupidity). My experience. Such a good piece of writing.
Why oh why do I expect it to be easy….🙃
What would Mr Roger’s tell you? That’s the answer you need!😁
Wait - sometimes it’s fun, too.
My goodness have I been feeling this. I'm glad to know it's not just me... I thought the fact that my baby was getting bigger was causing me so much panic. Bruce helped me slow down so much--an almost 9-month wintering, and I have resisted rushing back to the world, even as I've done it. I can't tell you how helpful it is to hear your story and to know.... maybe this is simply the experience of spring. Of transitioning: even to the stuff we want, even when it's good, it hurts a little. Maybe that's just the cost of living tenderly. And your 48 hours on the couch tale--so rich, so relatable. That's why we're lucky to be writers: because even the bad stuff becomes our point of connection.
The cost of living tenderly — yes, that’s it! Thanks for always being here and helping me work through the growing pains!
Hi Bruce 🌸
One breath at a time 🙏
And the story goes on n on. Who is this who feels bad, shameful and guilty? Everything is as it should be. Being at peace with what is, whether organized, structured and productive or chaotic, soda drinking, tv watching etc. Everything is needed at the right time. It is what it is as of the moment and a good practice to offer unconditional love.
All changes, all transitions, we are the driver, our choices never wrong, it is just always in an interesting point in time.
This is a great write, I'm inspired now and I'm
On my way to talk to myself 😊❤️👏👏👏
Paolo, you know I always need the reminder to love myself unconditionally 🙃
Everything is okay and every misstep isn’t really a misstep. Thank you 🙏
It's amazing that we can write about these things and it creates space between the thing written and the writer. Being able to identify, analyze and asses these things make us not totally that. We are watchers, observers and integrators/creators. And in this space there is safety.
❤️❤️❤️
My goodness, this resonated so deeply. To hear that I’m not alone is a balm to the soul. I typically love spring and count down the days to cherry blossoms (I’m also in DC!), daffodils, creeping phlox, all the good stuff. But… this year… it’s been a hard transition. I think it’s because my energy feels misaligned with the energy around me and it’s disorienting. Here’s to being graceful with ourselves and walking through this season at a pace that feels nourishing.
Sarah, thank you!!! This year the resistance felt harder than ever…whatever the reasoning, I’m so glad I’m not alone. (I really want to do DMV writers coffee/meet up this year. I’m keeping you in mind!)
I would love that! Thank you for keeping me in mind. ☺️
Gorgeous words. Thanks for describing the roughness of transitions, even the ones you want. My autistic son has always struggled with transitions of all kinds, and we’ve learned so many ways to support him - and your words land in me in a whole new way & reminded me of the importance of supporting ourselves through those moves.
And I gasped at the pending loss of the cherry trees, I hadn’t heard that. I was in Japan one season, just at the beginning. I loved learning that those trees were in DC, too
Robin, it brings me such joy that you connected with this piece. Some people (not me lol) are better at transitions but I think it’s universally hard!
Allegedly, they are going to plant more but I don’t know where exactly!
At first, I thought this was much to do about nothing, Caroline, to be honest. Within a few moments, I realized I was going through the same thing! This is BEAUTIFUL and well written as always. I’m just glad it seems there’s only two seasons a year now: Winter andSummer, lol. Thank you!!
Thank you see! I’m glad a took you on a sort of journey lol. I’m grateful 🤍
You did, Caroline! Now it’s 27° again, and that journey seems more like a nightmare. March always fools me. I love how you brought out how accustomed we get to the “sameness” of anything, really. When I had to quit my job, which I really liked, I thought I would enjoy being able to sit on my porch in the mornings and feed the birds and squirrels and watch the sunrise. I could not figure out why I was depressed. But you nailed it in your post— and I’m paraphrasing here— Any change of routine (including seasons) leads to unexpected consequences— I kept waking up three hours earlier than I had to, and found myself missing my bus and wondering what my passenger’s day was like. It took me a while to pull out of that! Instead of making an assumption about your article, I should’ve known you would come through as you ALWAYS do! Thanks, Caroline. ❣️✨☀️
Yes!! There’s growing pains!
Springtime here is like walking up a sand dune. Two steps forward and one back. Today we are in the sunshine thinking about tomatoes, tomorrow we will stare in disbelief at six inches of fresh snow.
So I try to live by my lifelong motto: I am a mudflap on the truck of life. I choose to remain flexible and willing to travel.
And always, by the day after the day after tomorrow’s snow, I will again be thinking about tomatoes.
Yes, the whiplash of the weather feels like false start! Last weekend I put up my winter coats, today I busted one back out.
I love this motto! And I desperately love tomatoes 🍅
We can put a man on the moon. We can cure male pattern baldness. But we can’t produce a decent grocery store tomato.
Are we doomed?
Hahaha
Caroline, I’ve been roaring for spring to get started and yet your words quieted me and made me reflect on the good of winter I’m leaving behind which is a huge feat since I generally detest winter. I wish you the most luxurious transition to spring, I hope it unravels slowly, thoughtfully, and as gracefully as your words. ❤️
Sri! Thank you! It’s been a good reminder that all of this is necessary— that I can’t stay put 🤍
Caroline! This is such a wonderful piece! 🤍🌸 There are so many nuggets to screenshot and keep as reminders. Beautifully done, my friend!
Thank you, thank you! I’m humbled and grateful 🌸
Incredible writing.
Thank you so much 😊
I have been craving spring for the entire winter. I was never ready for winter and honestly, I don't want another one. We had two plus weeks of spring which ended a few days ago. Imagine my disappointment waking up to fresh new snow when the cleats had already happily disengaged from their respective boots! Yet I put them back on for two more days.
Your sentence, 'Still, existing demands that I continue rebirthing myself, requiring that I loosen the hold on who I was to make room for who I can become.' hit home for me. I am currently having weekly sessions with a somatic healer and the 'things' we've uncovered, or rather that I have let be uncovered with eager vulnerability and volunteerism, seems to be helping in this. I'm at a point where my next transition, albeit appropriately timed with the beginning of spring, might just feel like all of those cherry trees when this is said and done.
This was a beautiful piece. I make sure I save your pieces for when I am calm and can take in every single word. Today was the day for you. Many hugs...
Elisabeth, I put up my winter coats two weeks ago and had to pull them back out this past weekend…no snow but I feel that pain!
I’m leaning that so much looseness is required and that’s scary and amazing. I just have to figure out the right balance. I’m so so so grateful to you, always! It brings me such joy that you are here ☺️❤️
The feeling is quite mutual. 😘
What a gem of an essay! I will be coming back to this often. Thank you, Caroline ❤️❤️
Thank you, my friend 🤍
This is so beautifully written and relatable. This year I couldn't bond with summer (I'm in the southern hemisphere). Its bright outgoing energy kept shaming me for wanting to stay in hibernation. Autumn has come as a welcome relief. The external world finally aligns with the internal world.
Thank you so much!! I’m from Louisiana so I too have a complicated relationship with summer 😂
Sometimes we need rotting into mush to grow back into solid form. This was beautiful, Caroline. I’m so glad I waited until I could read this with my full attention. The visuals you describe with such rich detail make me so happy. I, too, felt myself tugging against spring. As much as I adore spring, it is a looming reminder that summer is not far behind. I loathe summer. The heat and sun triggers my migraines with aura. Summer is my hibernation phase.
I’m so excited for you to see the cherry blossoms!!! (Going to Japan to see them is on my bucket list.) I hope you’ll share your trip and some pics with us! 🌸🍒💗
Jenovia, your comment makes me soooo happy! Thank you!
The Winter to Spring transition is LOUD…I don’t like loud but I do like flowers and a light breeze. I’m trying to hold close the parts of this that feel best. And I hadn’t thought of it until now, but I loathe summer — no doubt that is in the back of my mind.
The blossoms are so gorgeous and I’m going to get one more peak on Friday!!
The body always knows 😭
Someone said to me the other day “you can lie to yourself but you cannot lie to your body. It’ll always tell the truth.” 🤯
What a journey you've taken us through Caroline. You writing slows me down and makes me breathe, which we could all use more of. Thank you ❤️.
Two things come to mind after reading this. The first is how important it is to remind ourselves, as we are living and breathing and embracing the soft, mysterious space of transition, that challenge and suffering are not synonymous, though it is so easy to confuse the two. The second, which is the way I've learned to combat the confusion, is the approach of coveting the challenge, letting myself be turned on by the danger of diving face first into it.
This comment makes me so happy! Thank you! I like this…challenges and suffering are not always the same!! 🤍