Yeees, "....it is a conscious choice to disentangle from distraction, to resist the seductive whispers of an ever-urgent elsewhere." I so agree!! I love the flow that a engaging project can give me, and I try to recreate that, even in the tiniest bits of time I have. It's really the ultimate - and thanks for the reminder!
Also, I interned for a time in my public history master's program at a local archives, cataloguing and writing finding aids, for written records and oral histories, and found it thoroughly immersive and a reprieve from life outside those walls!
“The allure of past regrets” and the feeling of waking up melancholic — I relate so much!
I also love the “disentangling from distractions.” Later, when you talked about “letting distractions fade” it made me think about the slight difference implied with those two verbs. The intention is the same (to settle into the present moment, or grasp it, or notice it, or whatever nuance of verb we choose), but to disentangle is interestingly a different image and level of agency than letting something fade. Ha—I’m sure I’m overthinking this.
Anyway, thank you for the beautiful and relatable writing.
Alexandra! Your comments mean so much to me!! And you’ve got me thinking. I feel like I am in a state where I always choose distractions and then I’m forced to disentangle…I’m striving for a state where they simply fade away and I never entwine myself to begin with 🤍
It feels like it shouldn’t be such a struggle, doesn’t it? We have meaningful work, we have important friendships, we have dogs! But the distractions are so omnipresent and powerful. I think my verb, rightly or wrongly, is “crowd out.” But the level of frenetic activity required to escape distraction may be a cure worse than the disease.
YES!!! And you'd think by now I'd learn to put my phone away on walks with amount of street food Delilah finds...Crowd out, yes! If you find the magic potion, send it my way.
I feel this deeply--also an inclination I have to always feel conflicted. Like if I'm struggling out of a knot, then I'm busy with the right stuff. But I also hate it (obviously). Waiting with bated breath for your next reflection!
-- What an evocative plethora of expressions, C. Your writing skillfully captures the poignant struggle between the weight of the past and the uncertainty of the future, encapsulating valor within the realms of introspection and anticipation. The ephemeral nature of moments and the ever-changing landscape of one’s own creations are both eloquently portrayed. Thank you. Xo.
You managed to put words down that encapsulate such varying emotions, especially when it comes to 'disentangle from distraction', as you so wonderfully put it. I struggle/experience this on a daily. I remember taking a mindfulness course and going through the exercises for disengaging with distracting, meaningless thoughts and just being with myself. But how!? It can be maddening. It was and remains to be something I can't get down without great effort, the right setting, sound, MOOD, etc. When I do, and I'm happy to report that I have, it is wonderful I will admit, so I do continue to try and try again
I resonate with this, being a bike messenger needed to be present at all times. 2 times i let my mind wander and I got doored (bike hitting an opening car door). In the kitchen, I let my mind wander and something burns, or I get cuts or burns. In drawing or writing, where in where the focus is not deliberately intended then flowed with, no creation will come out at all.
The beauty of being present, to not be anticipating nor longing for nostalgia is the truest meaning of life even if it is just washing the dishes.
Wrapped in our nearest duty is the key that shall unlock the heavenly gates.
That now is all there is and it is pretty great.
This inspired me to write about my flow states in former lives.
Wow you highlight something that didn’t even occur to me as I was writing — the consequences, at times very real, of not being presents. The dangers of a wandering mind.
Both you and Elena have written before about being present with washing/cleaning up and I think that’s so powerful. Even those small moments deserve all that I have.
I hope you’ll share about your former lives ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
I believe that we are all somewhat in similar situations, being pulled, or 'allured', toward this and that.
It is absolutely 100% choice to constantly notice what we're doing, thinking, being pulled toward and, more importantly, being repulsed away from. I often told my son, now about to be 40, that is was just as important to pay attention to the traits in others that you admired as the traits in others you knew you didn't want to be anything like!
Keep at it. There is no test...it's just a process of learning, practicing, failing, learning, practicing, failing. It's all good.
Even it there WAS a test it would be a yes/no test and the only question on the test would be 'Are you paying attention?"
What if we retitle it just being human and remove the tagline 'struggle'? It's just something to think about..and thank you for being there as well. Have a charming weekend.
Wim hof breathing technique.. on YouTube .. the first one that pops up is about 12 minutes long.. there’s a ton of science behind it and so many more breath work videos by Wim.. actually there’s a Wim Hof app! I have it! I had forgotten, as I automatically go to the video early each day and just do it.. fully.. no matter my mood. Your piece was written so beautifully, so eloquently, it almost made me sad that I find it impossible to meditate anymore. But there are other ways to ground ourselves. We must be resourceful, eh?😁👏✍️
Very cool! I’m going to check it out. Thank you so much…but at least theirs humor and camaraderie in knowing that none of us are reaching all of our goals…but trying 😊
I hear that loud and clear, Caroline. I used to meditate. Tinnitus put paid to that for me a few years ago. I now do a guided Wim hof breath work routine daily. It’s about 12 minutes of being in the present moment daily, which doesn’t sound much, but I’m grateful to have that, at least, as I can quite easily be overwhelmed by thoughts of the past, fears of the future, and the breath work seems to ground me for a while. I worked as a decorator for years, which can be a bad career choice for a perfectionist, but I can identify strongly with how you were lost in the act of working with your hands and eyes ( and in your case, even ears ) while focused on those artists work. I never had enough hours in the day when in the flow. I wish you well. Great stack!👏✍️
Ahh it’s so hard to quiet the mind sometimes! I’m going to look up that breath work. I’ve been doing kundalini yoga and meditation Sunday nights and it’s been a great way to start of my week. Thank you!!!
Beautiful writing. Living distraction free is a choice and requires difficult purposeful actions. Sigh.
PS: Not sure if Samadhi is the right word to be used here (even if the dictionary meaning aligns). In India, we use it only for the greatest of yogis, saints and social leaders.
Even if it slips away from you, how lucky you are to have had an experience with total presence & that almost transcendent kind of concentration. At least you have a lighthouse to find your way back to!! Whenever I feel not so good I think back to times in my life when I was most alive. What was the quality of that time? What was I doing? How was I thinking about myself? Such a gift to have had those times, even if they inevitably twist away.
I relate to this so much! I too want to throw my phone across the room all the dang time. I could see so clearly your time in New Orleans…the descriptions were so clear! Running on the trails is a place where I can fully feel the present moment and it’s my favorite place to be.
I’ve tried limits and the Opal app. It helps! Also, the book 4,000 weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman was shared with me and I’m excited to read about how to reframe phone time and prioritize what feels most important.
Enjoyed your story.
I get lost, a good lost, when I create. And it is my most peaceful, fulfilling moments.
It’s the best feeling!! Thank you for being here 😊
Yeees, "....it is a conscious choice to disentangle from distraction, to resist the seductive whispers of an ever-urgent elsewhere." I so agree!! I love the flow that a engaging project can give me, and I try to recreate that, even in the tiniest bits of time I have. It's really the ultimate - and thanks for the reminder!
Also, I interned for a time in my public history master's program at a local archives, cataloguing and writing finding aids, for written records and oral histories, and found it thoroughly immersive and a reprieve from life outside those walls!
Yes!!! Getting lost in an archive is literally a the best feeling!! Thank you so much for being here 🙂
“The allure of past regrets” and the feeling of waking up melancholic — I relate so much!
I also love the “disentangling from distractions.” Later, when you talked about “letting distractions fade” it made me think about the slight difference implied with those two verbs. The intention is the same (to settle into the present moment, or grasp it, or notice it, or whatever nuance of verb we choose), but to disentangle is interestingly a different image and level of agency than letting something fade. Ha—I’m sure I’m overthinking this.
Anyway, thank you for the beautiful and relatable writing.
Alexandra! Your comments mean so much to me!! And you’ve got me thinking. I feel like I am in a state where I always choose distractions and then I’m forced to disentangle…I’m striving for a state where they simply fade away and I never entwine myself to begin with 🤍
It feels like it shouldn’t be such a struggle, doesn’t it? We have meaningful work, we have important friendships, we have dogs! But the distractions are so omnipresent and powerful. I think my verb, rightly or wrongly, is “crowd out.” But the level of frenetic activity required to escape distraction may be a cure worse than the disease.
YES!!! And you'd think by now I'd learn to put my phone away on walks with amount of street food Delilah finds...Crowd out, yes! If you find the magic potion, send it my way.
I feel this deeply--also an inclination I have to always feel conflicted. Like if I'm struggling out of a knot, then I'm busy with the right stuff. But I also hate it (obviously). Waiting with bated breath for your next reflection!
-- What an evocative plethora of expressions, C. Your writing skillfully captures the poignant struggle between the weight of the past and the uncertainty of the future, encapsulating valor within the realms of introspection and anticipation. The ephemeral nature of moments and the ever-changing landscape of one’s own creations are both eloquently portrayed. Thank you. Xo.
Thank you for this beautiful comment. Your presence means so much to me!
Caroline, absolutely blown away. I’m just speechless. I’ve saved this so I can come back to this again and again.
Sri! OMG thank you so much!! You have made my entire weekend!
You managed to put words down that encapsulate such varying emotions, especially when it comes to 'disentangle from distraction', as you so wonderfully put it. I struggle/experience this on a daily. I remember taking a mindfulness course and going through the exercises for disengaging with distracting, meaningless thoughts and just being with myself. But how!? It can be maddening. It was and remains to be something I can't get down without great effort, the right setting, sound, MOOD, etc. When I do, and I'm happy to report that I have, it is wonderful I will admit, so I do continue to try and try again
Yes!!! I relate to everything you say here. I just want mindfulness to be EASY!!!!! Ugh but we keep trying. Thank you 🙏
I resonate with this, being a bike messenger needed to be present at all times. 2 times i let my mind wander and I got doored (bike hitting an opening car door). In the kitchen, I let my mind wander and something burns, or I get cuts or burns. In drawing or writing, where in where the focus is not deliberately intended then flowed with, no creation will come out at all.
The beauty of being present, to not be anticipating nor longing for nostalgia is the truest meaning of life even if it is just washing the dishes.
Wrapped in our nearest duty is the key that shall unlock the heavenly gates.
That now is all there is and it is pretty great.
This inspired me to write about my flow states in former lives.
Thank you ❤️
Wow you highlight something that didn’t even occur to me as I was writing — the consequences, at times very real, of not being presents. The dangers of a wandering mind.
Both you and Elena have written before about being present with washing/cleaning up and I think that’s so powerful. Even those small moments deserve all that I have.
I hope you’ll share about your former lives ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
I believe that we are all somewhat in similar situations, being pulled, or 'allured', toward this and that.
It is absolutely 100% choice to constantly notice what we're doing, thinking, being pulled toward and, more importantly, being repulsed away from. I often told my son, now about to be 40, that is was just as important to pay attention to the traits in others that you admired as the traits in others you knew you didn't want to be anything like!
Keep at it. There is no test...it's just a process of learning, practicing, failing, learning, practicing, failing. It's all good.
Even it there WAS a test it would be a yes/no test and the only question on the test would be 'Are you paying attention?"
Ohhh I like that advice! I will be taking notice on my end.
But you are right, it’s all so much easier once I remember it’s such a human struggle. I’m not alone. We’re all learning together.
Thank you for being here ❤️❤️
What if we retitle it just being human and remove the tagline 'struggle'? It's just something to think about..and thank you for being there as well. Have a charming weekend.
YESSSS 🤯
U so welcome
There’s a ton of science.. but just dive in and do it.. you can look into Wim later, is what I meant to say. All the best, Caroline.
Wim hof breathing technique.. on YouTube .. the first one that pops up is about 12 minutes long.. there’s a ton of science behind it and so many more breath work videos by Wim.. actually there’s a Wim Hof app! I have it! I had forgotten, as I automatically go to the video early each day and just do it.. fully.. no matter my mood. Your piece was written so beautifully, so eloquently, it almost made me sad that I find it impossible to meditate anymore. But there are other ways to ground ourselves. We must be resourceful, eh?😁👏✍️
Very cool! I’m going to check it out. Thank you so much…but at least theirs humor and camaraderie in knowing that none of us are reaching all of our goals…but trying 😊
‘a respite from my mind’.
I hear that loud and clear, Caroline. I used to meditate. Tinnitus put paid to that for me a few years ago. I now do a guided Wim hof breath work routine daily. It’s about 12 minutes of being in the present moment daily, which doesn’t sound much, but I’m grateful to have that, at least, as I can quite easily be overwhelmed by thoughts of the past, fears of the future, and the breath work seems to ground me for a while. I worked as a decorator for years, which can be a bad career choice for a perfectionist, but I can identify strongly with how you were lost in the act of working with your hands and eyes ( and in your case, even ears ) while focused on those artists work. I never had enough hours in the day when in the flow. I wish you well. Great stack!👏✍️
Ahh it’s so hard to quiet the mind sometimes! I’m going to look up that breath work. I’ve been doing kundalini yoga and meditation Sunday nights and it’s been a great way to start of my week. Thank you!!!
Beautiful writing. Living distraction free is a choice and requires difficult purposeful actions. Sigh.
PS: Not sure if Samadhi is the right word to be used here (even if the dictionary meaning aligns). In India, we use it only for the greatest of yogis, saints and social leaders.
Thank you for your presence and insight! 🤍
Even if it slips away from you, how lucky you are to have had an experience with total presence & that almost transcendent kind of concentration. At least you have a lighthouse to find your way back to!! Whenever I feel not so good I think back to times in my life when I was most alive. What was the quality of that time? What was I doing? How was I thinking about myself? Such a gift to have had those times, even if they inevitably twist away.
Yes! Thinking of the goodness as a lighthouse, instead of morning that we moved away. Thank you for always showing up for me 🤍
“….conspire to pull me away from now. And as I navigate this maze, the struggle for presence gets pushed to the margins.”
Love this and totally relate. 🤍
Thank you so much ☺️
I relate to this so much! I too want to throw my phone across the room all the dang time. I could see so clearly your time in New Orleans…the descriptions were so clear! Running on the trails is a place where I can fully feel the present moment and it’s my favorite place to be.
Awww thank you so much! My friend Arty just told me a a phone “brick” that locks your apps. I will be investigating this lol.
I’m glad you have running. Power walking on a high incline on the treadmill is a go to for me 🤍
I’ve tried limits and the Opal app. It helps! Also, the book 4,000 weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman was shared with me and I’m excited to read about how to reframe phone time and prioritize what feels most important.
Ahhh thank you for these recommendations!