I love this!! I love the bravery of just asking for what we need and want because also…it’s what we all need and want. And funny because, from when I sit, you are on top of the world.
I also think it’s hard to be in that space of freshly un-armored but also not totally comfortable. Theres a euphoria of first getting free that carries us through the initial pangs of vulnerability but it’s a whole other experience to just go on living once that adrenaline wears off. It’s a little scary. We are here with you!
The adrenaline wearing off…I think that perfectly incapsulates how I’ve been feeling. I was scared I was slipping off the summit. I’m not, it’s just a different phase.
Shedding parts unneeded feels like dying. The birth that’s coming and our gradual becoming is super interesting and exciting though. Everything in this life is mostly worth it. Creators that we are, lets savor with full awareness. Namaste beautiful peeps ❤️
I see you, and I hear you - and this went straight to all my feels because I also feel so seen by your words. I need to be seen too!
"A second of perceived invisibility and I’m back in the schoolyard, that small child, cloaked in a plaid jumper, desperately waiting for someone to pick me for their team. Please, please pick me."
^^ it's this, exactly this. Thank you for these lovely thoughts - I look forward to seeing more of you.
Jordan! Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. Ive been overwhelmed by these comments on longing for more camaraderie…we’re all seeking so much of the same 🤍
I needed to read this today. I am and have been struggling so much with all of this - except that, without the benefit of a wall to put up- I’ve never been “able” to do that- I’ve just felt continually vulnerable. I’ll probably read this over and over as I gather courage, and I’m so grateful to you for sharing your heart here. You may have given me the push to uncurl from my little ball and begin to try again.
Thank you so much for this comment! I’ve been so overwhelmed with the response to this piece. Thank you for being here and sharing your vulnerability. I see you 🤍
The epitome of self awareness 🤍 it’s very freeing when you get to that level of self-awareness and can stand confidently and demand to be seen. Everyone deserves to be seen/recognised for who they are, warts and all, and what they give back to the world. Good or bad 🤷🏻♀️
I resonated with so much of this post 🥺 it just makes me slightly sad that some of the most genuine of folks, are the ones overlooked ❤️🩹
Charlotte, thank you so much! It fills me with joy that you connected with this piece! It’s funny how we’re all looking for the same things and yet we fail to deliver…
Somehow I missed this post. I've felt loneliness and sometimes my shyness would work to make myself want to be unseen. Certainly as a teenager, there were many times I wanted to stay in the shadows, try to make myself imperceptible by staying close to a wall. Because I thought I was hideous.
The great gift of Substack is that when people read what we write, it does make us feel seen. And I hope you do feel seen.
Now, I am positive I missed this post because I am a stickler for Godfather accuracy. And, while the sentiment of sleeping with the fishes is very Corleone-like, it was Vito Corleone's henchman, Luca Brasi, who was murdered by the five families who then sent a dead fish to the Corleone house to signify where poor Luca was sleeping.
Haha I actually thought of you when I made that reference and I do know that you are right, that Don never got his hands dirty — but I worried that not enough people know Vito 😊
You've beautifully expressed something universal, as all these comments and restacks testify to! You have me thinking about "disarming" vs. "arming." I also think your choice of profession is interesting. I wonder if you have ever written about the connection between being an archivist and being seen?
I cannot tell you the number of times I've wished I could pick up my phone and call you, Caroline! You are such a special person; it is an honor and a privilege read your thoughts. You express universal thoughts and feelings so very well, and, thus, you reveal our mutual bonding. We may feel alone in part because social media creates connections while isolating us at the same time.
Oh my goodness, Joy! I could sob tears of happiness. You have continued to make me feel seen for many months and it’s made me feel so powerful! I just hope that you feel seen by me 🤍🤍🤍
Wow, Caroline, this hits close to home. I think you’ve beautifully captured what I feel is a big insecurity for most of us. And your bravery in deciding not to hide behind old shields. Just wow.
Wonderful post Caroline. I agree, we all need to know we are being seen, and I will add, heard. Needing reassurance is not weak, it is oh so human. I see you Caroline. I hear what you are saying.
I hear you. Loud an clear. I see you as if looking in a mirror. This was such a brave piece of writing. That childhood schoolyard can turn into a prison yard so easily, one we feel we can never escape from. But forgiveness holds the key. Of everything and everyone. Including ourselves. Thanks for sharing your vulnerability. It resonated with me on so many levels. 👏✍️💚
Thank you, Caroline. I look forward to reading more of your work. Being sensitive is ok. It’s what makes us different. And different people are the most memorable, and irreplaceable.
I saved this in my inbox because I couldn't read it right away, but the title is something I'm wrestling through (again) for myself. I've done a lot of inner work and wasn't expecting THIS particular thing to come around again, but it is--less horribly but more deeply. Unlike you, I forgive quickly and readily...but I preserve my wounds and let them affect how I feel about myself.
I'm sad you carry this weight, too. I see you. (It looks like many people to, considering the number of comments!) It would be nice to journey together. Your post made me think about this course and so while I didn't come here to advertise to you, it feels relevant to at least share the opportunity: https://the-pilgrimage.org/home-2/get-connected/stepping-into-the-story/
Jenn, thank you for being here. And I’m struck by the fact that while you and I may be operating differently, we’re tending to the same wounds. We are all vastly different but also very much the same — we crave others and meaningful connections and we let the outside rip apart our insides.
Thank you so much for the link! I’m going to check it out 🤍🤍
Hi Caroline- random but have you heard the MC Solaar song with your name? It’s one of my favorites. I’m new to substack, haven’t blogged in years, but will write again. I echo this sentiment of being seen, even if only by a close few. Hence any social media outlet. I’m a visual artist as well, so instagram has been a place to share that aspect of my vision. My friend Ayesha Ophelia just wrote about the need to be vulnerable here. Here goes!
I see you. ❤️ I hear you. ❤️ This. Hits. HARD.
Really excellent piece. Thank you so much.
I’m sitting next to you in the cold mud, my friend. We’re gonna get up and get out of it, no matter how many times we slip and fall.
Sarah!! This comment went straight to my heart! It’s such a privilege to be standing with you ❤️❤️❤️
Rise up rise up ❤️
🙌❤️ Yes!!
I love this!! I love the bravery of just asking for what we need and want because also…it’s what we all need and want. And funny because, from when I sit, you are on top of the world.
😭😭 thank you!! I hope you know how much I value your continued support and “seeing.” It’s helped me feel oh so powerful!
I also think it’s hard to be in that space of freshly un-armored but also not totally comfortable. Theres a euphoria of first getting free that carries us through the initial pangs of vulnerability but it’s a whole other experience to just go on living once that adrenaline wears off. It’s a little scary. We are here with you!
The adrenaline wearing off…I think that perfectly incapsulates how I’ve been feeling. I was scared I was slipping off the summit. I’m not, it’s just a different phase.
Shedding parts unneeded feels like dying. The birth that’s coming and our gradual becoming is super interesting and exciting though. Everything in this life is mostly worth it. Creators that we are, lets savor with full awareness. Namaste beautiful peeps ❤️
YOU ARE EXQUISITE
i know right?!!!! i read this went to supermarket and came back and she had 8 friggin re-stacks lol
You and me are both shocked!
Hahah seriously! This girl is on fire. Also I am going to settle into your latest as soon as I find a quiet…hour ;)
lol you may need 2 as i went a little long and bezerkoid this week or a beach blanket in cost rica
I see you, and I hear you - and this went straight to all my feels because I also feel so seen by your words. I need to be seen too!
"A second of perceived invisibility and I’m back in the schoolyard, that small child, cloaked in a plaid jumper, desperately waiting for someone to pick me for their team. Please, please pick me."
^^ it's this, exactly this. Thank you for these lovely thoughts - I look forward to seeing more of you.
Jordan! Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. Ive been overwhelmed by these comments on longing for more camaraderie…we’re all seeking so much of the same 🤍
I needed to read this today. I am and have been struggling so much with all of this - except that, without the benefit of a wall to put up- I’ve never been “able” to do that- I’ve just felt continually vulnerable. I’ll probably read this over and over as I gather courage, and I’m so grateful to you for sharing your heart here. You may have given me the push to uncurl from my little ball and begin to try again.
Thank you so much for this comment! I’ve been so overwhelmed with the response to this piece. Thank you for being here and sharing your vulnerability. I see you 🤍
This is absolutely honest and beautiful. THANK YOU! I see you.
THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!
The epitome of self awareness 🤍 it’s very freeing when you get to that level of self-awareness and can stand confidently and demand to be seen. Everyone deserves to be seen/recognised for who they are, warts and all, and what they give back to the world. Good or bad 🤷🏻♀️
I resonated with so much of this post 🥺 it just makes me slightly sad that some of the most genuine of folks, are the ones overlooked ❤️🩹
Charlotte, thank you so much! It fills me with joy that you connected with this piece! It’s funny how we’re all looking for the same things and yet we fail to deliver…
🤍🤍🤍
Caroline,
Somehow I missed this post. I've felt loneliness and sometimes my shyness would work to make myself want to be unseen. Certainly as a teenager, there were many times I wanted to stay in the shadows, try to make myself imperceptible by staying close to a wall. Because I thought I was hideous.
The great gift of Substack is that when people read what we write, it does make us feel seen. And I hope you do feel seen.
Now, I am positive I missed this post because I am a stickler for Godfather accuracy. And, while the sentiment of sleeping with the fishes is very Corleone-like, it was Vito Corleone's henchman, Luca Brasi, who was murdered by the five families who then sent a dead fish to the Corleone house to signify where poor Luca was sleeping.
I absolutely feeling seen. Thank you!!
Haha I actually thought of you when I made that reference and I do know that you are right, that Don never got his hands dirty — but I worried that not enough people know Vito 😊
You've beautifully expressed something universal, as all these comments and restacks testify to! You have me thinking about "disarming" vs. "arming." I also think your choice of profession is interesting. I wonder if you have ever written about the connection between being an archivist and being seen?
Thank you Alexandra!!! It delights me so that you are here!
Ahhh maybe a future post...
I cannot tell you the number of times I've wished I could pick up my phone and call you, Caroline! You are such a special person; it is an honor and a privilege read your thoughts. You express universal thoughts and feelings so very well, and, thus, you reveal our mutual bonding. We may feel alone in part because social media creates connections while isolating us at the same time.
I see you, Caroline, and you are wonderful!
Oh my goodness, Joy! I could sob tears of happiness. You have continued to make me feel seen for many months and it’s made me feel so powerful! I just hope that you feel seen by me 🤍🤍🤍
I am here for you!!
Amen 🙏
Wow, Caroline, this hits close to home. I think you’ve beautifully captured what I feel is a big insecurity for most of us. And your bravery in deciding not to hide behind old shields. Just wow.
Sri!! It means so much to me that you are here. And I’m so grateful that our paths have crossed. You are such a joy! 🤍
It’s mutual! 😊❤️
❤️
No need to jump up and down to be seen.
I see you.
Ken, thank you!! I’m always grateful for your presence here 😊
Wonderful post Caroline. I agree, we all need to know we are being seen, and I will add, heard. Needing reassurance is not weak, it is oh so human. I see you Caroline. I hear what you are saying.
Yes!!! Listening and seeing!! It’s the only way to be. Thank you for being here with me 🤍
My pleasure Caroline! This post was so relatable for me. I grew up with a strong sense of not being heard.
-- What a masterpiece to read, my dear Caroline. Deep, magical, and transformational. Thank you a thousand times for sharing. ❤️🔥
Thank you!!!!!
I hear you. Loud an clear. I see you as if looking in a mirror. This was such a brave piece of writing. That childhood schoolyard can turn into a prison yard so easily, one we feel we can never escape from. But forgiveness holds the key. Of everything and everyone. Including ourselves. Thanks for sharing your vulnerability. It resonated with me on so many levels. 👏✍️💚
Kevin, thank you so much for being here and finding meaningful! I’m grateful 🤍
Thank you, Caroline. I look forward to reading more of your work. Being sensitive is ok. It’s what makes us different. And different people are the most memorable, and irreplaceable.
I saved this in my inbox because I couldn't read it right away, but the title is something I'm wrestling through (again) for myself. I've done a lot of inner work and wasn't expecting THIS particular thing to come around again, but it is--less horribly but more deeply. Unlike you, I forgive quickly and readily...but I preserve my wounds and let them affect how I feel about myself.
I'm sad you carry this weight, too. I see you. (It looks like many people to, considering the number of comments!) It would be nice to journey together. Your post made me think about this course and so while I didn't come here to advertise to you, it feels relevant to at least share the opportunity: https://the-pilgrimage.org/home-2/get-connected/stepping-into-the-story/
Jenn, thank you for being here. And I’m struck by the fact that while you and I may be operating differently, we’re tending to the same wounds. We are all vastly different but also very much the same — we crave others and meaningful connections and we let the outside rip apart our insides.
Thank you so much for the link! I’m going to check it out 🤍🤍
"Tending to the same wounds." Yes, exactly. Different and the same.
Thanks for checking the link. I'll be curious to know what you think.
Hi Caroline- random but have you heard the MC Solaar song with your name? It’s one of my favorites. I’m new to substack, haven’t blogged in years, but will write again. I echo this sentiment of being seen, even if only by a close few. Hence any social media outlet. I’m a visual artist as well, so instagram has been a place to share that aspect of my vision. My friend Ayesha Ophelia just wrote about the need to be vulnerable here. Here goes!
I don’t know that song but I’m going to listen now!!
If there’s anything writing this piece and reading the comments has taught me, it’s that we’re craving so much of the same 🤍