Girl. GIRL. As soon as I saw Betty with the shotgun, I thought "this one's gonna light it up". I was not wrong.
Choosing to stay with the mess is the good stuff. Being "complicated" should be an attribute, not a deterrent. It is indeed where all the flavor is.
You've managed to say so much so succinctly (not at all annoying or preachy BTW), I can only add a big YES to what you've done here. Take the rest of the day off :)
Hahaha it’s the best scene!!!! But thank you so much. I like to rage about this topic at least once a year, so I appreciate the support and encouragement! Until next time 🤣
Eileen, you’ve distilled it perfectly—complication as flavor, not flaw. Caroline’s ability to take the sprawling, thorny truth and make it sing is nothing short of masterful. Betty with the shotgun is the energy we all need: unapologetically complex, impossible to overlook. And yes, staying with the mess is where the magic lives. Caroline, consider this an emphatic second to Eileen’s motion—take the rest of the day off, because you’ve absolutely earned it.
Gah!!!! I loved this. If there was a volume button in my head, by the end of this essay it was cranked at 10.
This! ⬇️
“Instead of settling for the mental equivalent of fast food, we can choose to stay with the mess. To let the commotion exist. To let the contradictions breathe.”
I love life’s messy juxtapositions - I think that’s what adds color to life. That’s what gets us out of the black and white / this or that mentality. There was way more color and nuance in the 50s - even if the television screens didn’t display the color. Funny how so much has changed but yet so much is still the same.
Absolutely adore this one Caroline. I can feel the fire and passion behind your words. You’re so right about this (and pretty much everything else) and it’s something that should be talked about more. Bravo! 👏
"Look, we’re never going to break free of our reductive habits entirely (spoiler alert: our brains are hardwired for shortcuts). But we can get better at catching ourselves in the act. We can pause when we’re reaching for the easy answer and ask: What am I erasing? What truths am I burying? What parts of the story make me squirm?"
Pinning these questions where I can see them whenever I sit down to write. Thank you, Caroline. ❤️
LOVE LOVE LOVED this whole piece. SO MANY GREAT QUOTES IN THIS 😍 I love complicated people. I love their winding, intricate pathways that lead me to surprise and intrigue. It's the best part of relationships and getting to know strangers. Simple and easy has its place in life but not everywhere, all the time.
What a doltish, disappointing thing for Gloria to say. She was far too advanced in life to allow that to come out of her mouth. "And it’s a betrayal of everyone who dared to be difficult." THIS!!!
Well said and spot on Caroline! Thank you! I wish I had more energy to write about this topic myself. I don't like to stay comfortably numb, I prefer to spout!
Jesus! I'm ready to run through a wall after that one!! The grey is absolutely where the good stuff lives, even when it's painful... I remember telling a friend a few days after Aiden died that it must have been mercy that he died. I heard the lie come out of my mouth, and it felt like broken glass. I knew exactly why I was doing it; the truth was too painful. After that, I promised myself to never flatten my story like that again. Keep writing and telling the whole story, my friend!
Complexity never fits neatly into a soundbite, but it doesn’t have to. Arlene Francis and Cleopatra didn’t need reducing to hosts or seductresses to matter, and neither do we. Life in its fullness—chaotic, layered, and unapologetic—demands more than tidy narratives. Stories worth telling aren’t polished smooth; they are intricate mosaics, complete with cracks and contradictions.
Simplifying isn’t safety. It’s erasure. Keeping things small doesn’t stop the world from being big. Why settle for less than the full picture? Thank you Caroline.
Bravo Caroline! I appreciate you calling us on our attitude and action - how we shift away from complexities. We need to get under the layer, and then the next one and next one to see what really lies there. Sometimes, beneath a pearly facade lies a backbone of steel.
Girl. GIRL. As soon as I saw Betty with the shotgun, I thought "this one's gonna light it up". I was not wrong.
Choosing to stay with the mess is the good stuff. Being "complicated" should be an attribute, not a deterrent. It is indeed where all the flavor is.
You've managed to say so much so succinctly (not at all annoying or preachy BTW), I can only add a big YES to what you've done here. Take the rest of the day off :)
Hahaha it’s the best scene!!!! But thank you so much. I like to rage about this topic at least once a year, so I appreciate the support and encouragement! Until next time 🤣
Eileen, you’ve distilled it perfectly—complication as flavor, not flaw. Caroline’s ability to take the sprawling, thorny truth and make it sing is nothing short of masterful. Betty with the shotgun is the energy we all need: unapologetically complex, impossible to overlook. And yes, staying with the mess is where the magic lives. Caroline, consider this an emphatic second to Eileen’s motion—take the rest of the day off, because you’ve absolutely earned it.
Oh wow!! Thank you so much!!! That picture of Betty, that whole scene, is utter perfection!
Caroline always makes getting truth bombed feel like a spa day ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾. ೀ.
Thanks for reposting!
Thanks for reading!!
Gah!!!! I loved this. If there was a volume button in my head, by the end of this essay it was cranked at 10.
This! ⬇️
“Instead of settling for the mental equivalent of fast food, we can choose to stay with the mess. To let the commotion exist. To let the contradictions breathe.”
I love life’s messy juxtapositions - I think that’s what adds color to life. That’s what gets us out of the black and white / this or that mentality. There was way more color and nuance in the 50s - even if the television screens didn’t display the color. Funny how so much has changed but yet so much is still the same.
Ahhhhh thank you so much!! Give us the mess! Give us the color!!!!
Absolutely adore this one Caroline. I can feel the fire and passion behind your words. You’re so right about this (and pretty much everything else) and it’s something that should be talked about more. Bravo! 👏
Omg you are always so kind to me and make me feel wayyyyy smarter than I am!! Thank you!!!!
"Look, we’re never going to break free of our reductive habits entirely (spoiler alert: our brains are hardwired for shortcuts). But we can get better at catching ourselves in the act. We can pause when we’re reaching for the easy answer and ask: What am I erasing? What truths am I burying? What parts of the story make me squirm?"
Pinning these questions where I can see them whenever I sit down to write. Thank you, Caroline. ❤️
Awww this means so so much!!! Thank you!!!!😊
LOVE LOVE LOVED this whole piece. SO MANY GREAT QUOTES IN THIS 😍 I love complicated people. I love their winding, intricate pathways that lead me to surprise and intrigue. It's the best part of relationships and getting to know strangers. Simple and easy has its place in life but not everywhere, all the time.
What a doltish, disappointing thing for Gloria to say. She was far too advanced in life to allow that to come out of her mouth. "And it’s a betrayal of everyone who dared to be difficult." THIS!!!
That’s exactly why I was so annoyed!!!!
And what a gift that we’re strangers no more!!! Thank you thank you 😊 ❤️🔥
Well said and spot on Caroline! Thank you! I wish I had more energy to write about this topic myself. I don't like to stay comfortably numb, I prefer to spout!
Thank you!! Let’s keep spouting off!!
Absolutely! Steinem is one of my sheroes. Her book “Revolution from Within” was life changing. Also Marianne Williamson’s “A Women’s Worth.”
HARD AGREE! Reading this untied one of the many knots that live in my heart these days.
This made my day brighter! Thank you 🤍
Jesus! I'm ready to run through a wall after that one!! The grey is absolutely where the good stuff lives, even when it's painful... I remember telling a friend a few days after Aiden died that it must have been mercy that he died. I heard the lie come out of my mouth, and it felt like broken glass. I knew exactly why I was doing it; the truth was too painful. After that, I promised myself to never flatten my story like that again. Keep writing and telling the whole story, my friend!
Has anyone told you that you are the BEST commenter?! If not, let me be the first!!!
I feel the sharpness and pain of that comment…yet dull compared to the truth. I’m continually amazed by you and and the wholeness that you bring 🤍🤍🤍🤍
Ahhh, thank you, but it's easy when you provide such an excellent springboard for thought!
what? janie's got a gun now?🤣
The way that my dad will love this comment because my grandmother was named Janie!! 🤣
would have thought for sure it would have been "Arlene" 😉
Complexity never fits neatly into a soundbite, but it doesn’t have to. Arlene Francis and Cleopatra didn’t need reducing to hosts or seductresses to matter, and neither do we. Life in its fullness—chaotic, layered, and unapologetic—demands more than tidy narratives. Stories worth telling aren’t polished smooth; they are intricate mosaics, complete with cracks and contradictions.
Simplifying isn’t safety. It’s erasure. Keeping things small doesn’t stop the world from being big. Why settle for less than the full picture? Thank you Caroline.
Big big thanks!! I’m so happy you’re here!!
Bravo Caroline! I appreciate you calling us on our attitude and action - how we shift away from complexities. We need to get under the layer, and then the next one and next one to see what really lies there. Sometimes, beneath a pearly facade lies a backbone of steel.
Thank you so much, Donna!! I appreciate it 😊
Another deep profound exploration on the leading edge. Aliveness is what this brought me
What a glorious comment!!! Thank you for always being so ALIVE!!!
I agree! And I can we can hold the simplicity of some things and the complexity of others. It’s all a case by case basis! Thank you so much!!