42 Comments
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Donna McArthur's avatar

I appreciate this reminder that life is never all or nothing. Every one of us is neither good or bad and grief and joy can co-exist. The last few decades have ingrained the message that we must be all the things and none of them include sadness, confusion or grief so I love reading excellent essays like this that demonstrate all the facets of being human. Thank you so much Caroline, well done!

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Caroline's avatar

Donna, your presence here and this comment brings me such joy! Thanks for sitting with all the human complications with me 😊

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Dia Lupo's avatar

Ummm so glad I saved this and why did I start tearing up???? JUDY FOREVER!!!

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Caroline's avatar

Thank you, my dear 🥹💗

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DERICK AMUSTRONG's avatar

Great memories..so much to admire. Thanks for this , Caroline 🙏

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Caroline's avatar

Thanks, Derick!! Really appreciate it 😊

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Jenovia 🕸️'s avatar

Caroline!!!! This was GORGEOUS. I was hanging on every word. I found myself making all kinds of noises whilst reading this piece because you’ve captured her so brilliantly. I love your love of complex women. Your ability to get right to the beating heart of their true essence is such a monster talent. As always, I’m in awe.

Just thinking about Judy’s vibrato gives me chills. She was such a huge part of my childhood and remains a pillar in my life to this day because of Kansas. Growing up a Kansan was and is synonymous with The Wizard Of Oz. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “You’re not in Kansas anymore” 😂😭 There are so many incredible quotes in this piece from both you and Judy. Ah!!!!! This might be my fav piece yet in this series!!!! 🤩🤩🤩

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Caroline's avatar

Well I’m walking on sunshine right now!!!! Thank you so much! I do not take your praise lightly!

But I love even more that we both feel connected to Judy and the Gabors. And I see so clearly how you honor the complexity in everything. That’s such a testament to your beautiful and totality!! I’m equally in awe 💗🫂

Let’s scurry off and watch Judy on YouTube!!

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Jenovia 🕸️'s avatar

Literally YouTubed Judy Garland Somewhere Over The Rainbow Carnegie Hall performance right after I read your piece 😭😍🙏

And thank you for seeing me 🥹❤️‍🔥

It truly is an honor.

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Caroline's avatar

She was so alive that night!!!

🫂🫂🫂

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Isabel Cowles Murphy's avatar

This was such a cool read partly because I know next to nothing about her…I love the way you are keeping the legacies of these extraordinary women alive—and giving them the nuance they so fully deserve. A nuance that might not have been available to them in their own time. Sort of like…a star isn’t just born, but remembered.

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Caroline's avatar

Ahhh I love that last line!! It takes distance, doesn’t it? Thank you!

Start preparing yourself now to hold the complexities of Bette Davis…she’s up next 💗

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Elizabeth Grace Martinez's avatar

This is an illuminating story of someone I’ve loved since childhood. Thanks for writing

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Caroline's avatar

I’m so grateful for your presence here! Thank you ☺️

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Francine Benites's avatar

Beautiful piece 🤎

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Caroline's avatar

Thank you!!

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Mohika Mudgal's avatar

Hi Caroline,

I must have been living under a rock because I had no idea who Judy Garland was until now! Your essay was such an eye-opener. I’ve learned so much about her remarkable life and the incredible legacy she left behind. It's inspiring how you brought to light the complexity of her experiences, showing her not just as a tragic figure but as a supernova who lived with such intensity and passion.

Warmly,

Mohika

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Caroline's avatar

Mohika, this comment brings me joy!! Thank you for being here and being willing to acknowledge the complexity of the human experience!

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Arty Cweiber's avatar

I love this so much Caroline. It’s a great twist on the classic villain/victim story and as much as people tend to cast themselves as the victim, I’ve never thought about how we collectively cast people in these roles with or without their input. There is something empowering in considering that Judy Garland was capable of harnessing her circumstances and making the best out of it. Thank you for the gorgeous writing and food for thought! 🤍🤍🤍

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Caroline's avatar

Yes!! And so few people are wholly victim or villain! We are those archetypes for moments though. Thank you, as always 🫂💗

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Pamela Leavey's avatar

I adored Judy and love Liza as well. Both have lived their lives out loud.

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Caroline's avatar

Both incredible talents!! Maybe I’ll watch Cabaret tonight!

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Pamela Leavey's avatar

I love Cabaret! I might have to look for it myself!

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Allison Deraney's avatar

This line: “My mind, despite its proclaimed love for duality, sometimes runs on a narrow code.”

Ooof. Mine, too.

This was a beautiful piece - showcasing how we can/should (dare I say MUST) consider all the beautiful complexities of unconventional “realness”

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Caroline's avatar

Ahhh the mind — beautiful and frustrating!!

Thank you for being here 🤍

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appleton king's avatar

yes...distressing how we tend to box in those of celebrity/talent/achievement within the circumstances surrounding their final years, months, days. Its a definition fortunately they are no longer around to be aware of having lived with an intensity, an exposure and yes more pain and its opposite pleasure than most will ever know.

ps was interested in seeing how the AI/Alexa? voice might approach the word "fucking" 🤣...i could detect little "nuance".....you?😚🙃

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Caroline's avatar

Haha you have it read it aloud?

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appleton king's avatar

i read along with "Her" 😉

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Eileen Dougharty's avatar

Love your perusal of a true star, back when celebrities seemed gloriously superhuman. She lived so large and without apology during a period that was brutal on women in show business. She dared to put it all out there, and we will still be marveling her years after we forget all the wannabes. Beautiful writing as always.

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Caroline's avatar

So brutal…I struggle to comprehend! And she’s still larger than life and that counts for something!!

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Dr Simon Rogoff's avatar

Thanks for this. Yes the media lazily offers a choice of the gorious script or the sad script. Ive also been at figures like Judy. The trauma leads not only to sadness but also to charisma and stand out performances, and the strategies for living that come from trauma often lead back to trauma.

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Caroline's avatar

Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment! I appreciate you being here 😊

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Susan McMahon's avatar

So interesting! I think we especially view others struggles through a negative and narrow lens, not for ourselves or at least I don't. For example, colleagues, friends have said at times, after I've shared some difficult experience with them, what a hard life I've had and I'm always shocked they see it that way because I don't! Yes I've had tough times but I've had a wonderful life. I'm sure I do the same when looking at other's lives from the outside in. My experience anyway. Thanks for the history lesson, what an interesting life she had.

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Caroline's avatar

Susan, I think you make such a great point! And it’s two fold…we face tragedy, we expect people to be understanding and sympathetic. But we often fail to give that in return and show up more judgmental. I really appreciate this insight. Thank you!!

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Susan McMahon's avatar

Thank you! It was a great, thought-provoking piece.

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Kaitlyn Elizabeth's avatar

I just went on a deep dive on her this week after seeing a YouTube clip of her. I didn’t know much about her at all. I so appreciate your nuanced exploration of ALL of her.

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Caroline's avatar

Ahhhh perfect timing!!! Thank you so much 🤍

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