33 Comments
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Elisabeth Donati's avatar

That was beyond poignant and incredibly easy to feel and understand.

Being bulimic in college for a couple of years, I understand far too well the weirdness behind looking and seeing our bodies in real time vs through distorted, marketing-driven lenses.

But since then, I have developed an enormous respect for my body and the bodies of everyone else for that matter.

Humanity has developed, sadly, a callousness toward bodies rather than a reverence for the fact that without them, we aren't.

Thank you for your words. I may read them again just to get the entire gist of it. Much Love, E

Caroline's avatar

Elisabeth, thank you so much for this comment. I’m always filled with such melancholy when I realize how many women share these complex feelings about our bodies. College was absolutely the time I was harshest to myself. I guess there’s something chaotic about that time in general.

But I’m also filled with hope. Look how far we’ve come. I’m grateful for you. For all of it ❤️

Elisabeth Donati's avatar

I agree with the college thing. I also see that since the advent of these stupid phones we call smart phones (they are anything but), the kids are really struggling more and more if they spend any amount of time on 'anti-social' media.

I am grateful for it all as well.

TURBO GOTH's avatar

Another deep exploration of the psyche. Another courageous look at what is. Your true nature is Life, Love, Change and expansion. When we are invited to ruminate on things other than love, we are called to practice again, to ask again, to look again. Talking to one’s self takes courage, self reflect until all you see is the Love that is your Truest nature. Deep breathes, clarity, purity, ready for change riding the waves of this magnificent life ever so gracefully. If narration feels inaccurate, narrate again, or breathe and observe this inaccuracy and as what even is this? What does this story have to do with my True Nature which is pure awareness, my cells, our cells, your blood, our blood, the planet’s bounty and intelligent cycle. There is nothing wrong ever, It is happening in divine order, know this within unconditionally and let’s all witness this awe full life. Much love to you and all. 🙏

Caroline's avatar

Thank you, my dear friend! This is such a beautiful comment, with beautiful practice. I’m so grateful for your presence and support 🤍

appleton king's avatar

this is so beautifully rendered especially this:

Growth has meant learning that I am both the venom and the antidote. That I can choose to not spiral. I can meet my gaze amongst the fog and say: “Walk away, now. It feels true, but it’s not.” That I am simultaneously the storyteller who weaves tales of self-doubt and the observer who witnesses the compassionate narratives others see.

im gonna go write it on the subway walls of substack k? kiss

Caroline's avatar

Apple, this means so much!

Yes, lets wallpaper the world with all our thoughts!!! XO

appleton king's avatar

what about erotic cave drawings?

Caroline's avatar

If you get fined, you’re on your own. lol

appleton king's avatar

see?? now you are getting it best to give men like me a wide berth ha

Thaissa Lara's avatar

-- Oh, Carol, your essay brilliantly reflects the idea that life is a mirror of perception. The way you delve into this concept highlights the profound impact our perspectives have on the interpretation of experiences. Your exploration unveils the intricate interplay between life's reflections and the lenses through which we view them. It's a thought-provoking piece that encourages introspection and a deeper understanding of the role perception plays in shaping our journey. Well done, my dear friend! 🤍 Xo.

Caroline's avatar

Thank you so much Thaissa! It really is a journey...and though I’ve learned a lot, much more awaits me ❤️

Thaissa Lara's avatar

-- Awaits us, all of us! Xo.

Alexander Semenyuk's avatar

Beautiful writing, growth is not easy

Caroline's avatar

Thank you!! It means so much to have you here.

I Read This Over Shabbos's avatar

This was such an honest and poignant and beautiful piece. I don’t know how you manage to capture such deep emotions and thoughts with mere words but somehow you do and it’s just perfect.

We are the venom and antidote. I’m going to take that one with me.

Thank you as always. 🤍

Caroline's avatar

Arty, your comments always fill me with such joy and give me the confidence to keep doing this! Thank you for always showing up for me 😊

Caz's avatar

Very powerful it will keep resonating through me.

Caroline's avatar

Thank you 🤍

Tinabeth Chapman's avatar

Yes thank you very Good. I say may we all be like flowers, always Thirsty.

Caroline's avatar

Thank you 😊

Rosana S's avatar

Wow, that was some powerful stuff Caroline. I feel like I've come out of a lovely cleansing cathartic storm.

Caroline's avatar

Rosana, this is so kind! Thank you!!

Jonathan Lalljee's avatar

“Sometimes I am the antidote and the venom”. You described the betrayal you sometimes feel about your body in such a relatable way. This feels like such a well thought out, raw and vivid depiction of the human experience and I’m so happy you wrote this.

Caroline's avatar

Jonathan! Thank you so much!! I’m so grateful to have you here 🤍

Joy W's avatar

Good grief, Caroline, surely no sane person actually thinks teenage and college years are wonderful? Today's teenagers are heroes in my opinion because of how much stress and hardship they endure; never mind the rollercoaster effects of raging hormones!

Yes, our younger bodies are generally stronger and we have more stamina. The world is Full of wonder and delight and the young are learning so much for the first time. But they don't yet have the tools to put things in perspective and they can be heavily burdened by that lack.

Your posts would be so reassuring and uplifting for teenagers. You get to the heart of troubled thoughts and feelings with such precision. I salute you!

Joy W's avatar

Caroline, you are so brilliant at expressing in writing what almost all of us go through, especially when we are young. Thank you so much for bravely tackling this universal problem.

It is so hard to admit to the fallacies of self-perception when marketing and advertising depends on successfully making us feel deficient in order to make money by selling us useless "fixers."

And then there is the problem of those, fortunately few, people who deliberately belittle others in order to feel superior.

Abusers are another category of monster altogether and are much more numerous and heartbreaking.

Caroline's avatar

Joy! This comment means so much to me...everyone praises the times of those young years and I think that is a mistake. It made me feel like such an outsider. Like I was the only one suffering. I was in desperate need for connection.

I'm going to link to a writer that I've recently fallen in love with, Demian - She writes beautifully about those power imbalances and finding her way out of the darkness.

https://silentnomore.substack.com/

I hope you are doing well!! Thank you for showing up for me.

Jonathan Lalljee's avatar

"You cannot heal a body you hate." These words left me speechless. You're such an amazing writer.

Caroline's avatar

Jonathan! Thank you sooo much. And ditto!!

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Jan 7, 2024
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Caroline's avatar

YES!! This is a RAD community!! It brings me such joy!!

Kimia, I adore you and your mind! The thought of never looking in the mirror sends a chill down my spine. WHAT DID THEY DO BEFORE MIRRORS?! The horror. I love a mirror, the vanity within me should be studied.

Remember, I'm the person that isn't sure if it's safe to leave house without painted nails? small steps lolol

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Jan 7, 2024
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Caroline's avatar

But would she like the almost egregious gold I applied today?

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Jan 6, 2024
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Caroline's avatar

Ohhhh I like that concept, thank you ❤️