“Rewriting the rules and stopping the bastards from sucking the joy out of this wild, messy ride.”
I WANT TO SCREAM THIS FROM ROOFTOPS. It’s part of the reason why I’ve been so unplugged this month. All the noise and finger pointing on social media feels dystopian and nothing I want to be a part of. I have been veeeery slowly making my way through newsletters I’ve missed this month and that intentional slowness feels right. I’m saying no to Hungry Hungry Hippo-ing my way through social media, reading, and connecting. Love love LOVED this and perfect timing as always 😮💨🥹❤️🔥🫂
I love witnessing the intentionality on your part!! You know the value of your time and it’s amazing!!! I’m trying to be better at that on my end…but it’s hard!! To recovering hungry hippos!! 🤣🫂❤️🙏✨🤍
And your conclusion is perfect..And it’s all okay, so long as I’m chipping away at the bullshit, inch by inch. Rewriting the rules and stopping the bastards from sucking the joy out of this wild, messy ride.
Now you sound like Wendell Berry in his book The Unsettling of America. If they can’t convince you that you are not enough, they cannot sell you whatever it is you are selling. And imagine how their worlds would come crashing down.
He is wise, a writer, a poet, a scholar and a dirt farmer who wrote his many books by hand. Some of the examples he used in The Unsettling of America, but the examples he used are even more poignant today. If you haven’t read his poem “He Peace of Wild Things,” you own it to yourself to read it. Short and extraordinarily beautiful.
Particularly enjoyed this one, Caroline. We play this game, and then we realize there is no end. If enough is tied to becoming something, we'll always feel empty, even after objectively achieving so much.
Others tell us what they know, which is the outcome of their playing this game of more. They may mean well, but we still have to reject their persuasion, lest we become them and not see we'll never feel fuller by seeking that one more thing - possession, achievement, attribute, etc. - to feel enough.
I really appreciate this framing, Patrick. We compare ourselves to others and then feel bad when we don’t measure up…but we’re not playing the same game!
I like way you mix emotion and analysis; it makes for very compelling writing. I notice some of that focus on “enough” on substack, just in the way some people seem to overvalue the number of likes and subscribers. But of course, I always notice that stuff too. It’s hard not to!
I was going to use that phrase too (falling into a trap). It’s interesting to think about that word – I’m sure I’m overthinking here– but a trap is something you can’t get out of laid by someone else. I don’t know! Just trying to flesh out the metaphor. Again overthinking ha ha ha
My big sister used to advise, “Now, you know the rules change… play the bullshit game,” which is the simply a big sister way of saying, get back up, dust yourself off, and keep moving.
Incredible words Caroline. So much yes. We are enough and worthy and whole- while we try and get better in the ways that actually matter every day. 👏👏👏 I need a book of these essays Caroline!
I feel like the entirety of my 30s has been puzzling through the very feelings and thoughts you’ve laid out (so beautifully!) here. I’m still not sure how I, personally, can overcome that desire for MORE and with no apparent reason why. But I did recently read something about how living in America is so stressful and really affects your sympathetic nervous system and now I can’t stop thinking about that.
As usual, your words are so thoughtful and eye-opening.
it seems you are wary of giving yourself "enough" of that
at work or for the reflections, meditations truths you share here....dreams involving desired outcomes always seem to be fulfilled when we are fully engaged with living, embracing and accepting true natures and that leads where it is meant to go
Beautiful introspection. What feels right at the moment is the true measure of the quality of life. All is in succession no matter how we prefer to go about it. All is in succession even if we stop. Nobody knows what it really means to feel alive but ourselves. To each their own and each one is unique, honored and celebrated. Nothing is ever wrong, but it’s always fun to pretend as we talk to ourselves. 😍
“Rewriting the rules and stopping the bastards from sucking the joy out of this wild, messy ride.”
I WANT TO SCREAM THIS FROM ROOFTOPS. It’s part of the reason why I’ve been so unplugged this month. All the noise and finger pointing on social media feels dystopian and nothing I want to be a part of. I have been veeeery slowly making my way through newsletters I’ve missed this month and that intentional slowness feels right. I’m saying no to Hungry Hungry Hippo-ing my way through social media, reading, and connecting. Love love LOVED this and perfect timing as always 😮💨🥹❤️🔥🫂
I love witnessing the intentionality on your part!! You know the value of your time and it’s amazing!!! I’m trying to be better at that on my end…but it’s hard!! To recovering hungry hippos!! 🤣🫂❤️🙏✨🤍
🦛🦛🦛🦛🦛😂
It is SO hard! Especially when our culture is built around being in “the know” every second of the day. 😭
I don’t like knowing this much 🤣🤣🤣
Girl, same 🫠
And your conclusion is perfect..And it’s all okay, so long as I’m chipping away at the bullshit, inch by inch. Rewriting the rules and stopping the bastards from sucking the joy out of this wild, messy ride.
Ahhh thank you!! That’s my favorite part.
Now you sound like Wendell Berry in his book The Unsettling of America. If they can’t convince you that you are not enough, they cannot sell you whatever it is you are selling. And imagine how their worlds would come crashing down.
I’ll be reading some Wendell Berry essays if anyone needs me!! Thank you!!
He is wise, a writer, a poet, a scholar and a dirt farmer who wrote his many books by hand. Some of the examples he used in The Unsettling of America, but the examples he used are even more poignant today. If you haven’t read his poem “He Peace of Wild Things,” you own it to yourself to read it. Short and extraordinarily beautiful.
Ahhh I can’t wait to read it!
Particularly enjoyed this one, Caroline. We play this game, and then we realize there is no end. If enough is tied to becoming something, we'll always feel empty, even after objectively achieving so much.
Others tell us what they know, which is the outcome of their playing this game of more. They may mean well, but we still have to reject their persuasion, lest we become them and not see we'll never feel fuller by seeking that one more thing - possession, achievement, attribute, etc. - to feel enough.
I really appreciate this framing, Patrick. We compare ourselves to others and then feel bad when we don’t measure up…but we’re not playing the same game!
Thank you!!
I like way you mix emotion and analysis; it makes for very compelling writing. I notice some of that focus on “enough” on substack, just in the way some people seem to overvalue the number of likes and subscribers. But of course, I always notice that stuff too. It’s hard not to!
That means a lot coming from you!!
I notice that here too and I get most annoyed by how tempting it is to fall into the trap…
I was going to use that phrase too (falling into a trap). It’s interesting to think about that word – I’m sure I’m overthinking here– but a trap is something you can’t get out of laid by someone else. I don’t know! Just trying to flesh out the metaphor. Again overthinking ha ha ha
And if the goal is for us to fall victim to the trap…🤯
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏…not done… 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏… I am standing!
Yayyyy!!! Thank you so so much ☺️🫂🤍
PS. Great read!
😊😊😊
All of this—all of the time. 💞💞
You really got me laughing at this line, “You must render your own tallow!”
Haha it’s all I see on insta. I’m not doing all that!!
This is especially true: Sometimes the ladder is rigged. Sometimes it’s a mirage. Sometimes it leads nowhere
Thank you so 😊
My big sister used to advise, “Now, you know the rules change… play the bullshit game,” which is the simply a big sister way of saying, get back up, dust yourself off, and keep moving.
Ahhh that’s good advice!!
Incredible words Caroline. So much yes. We are enough and worthy and whole- while we try and get better in the ways that actually matter every day. 👏👏👏 I need a book of these essays Caroline!
Ahh what a compliment!!! Thank you my friend!!
I feel like the entirety of my 30s has been puzzling through the very feelings and thoughts you’ve laid out (so beautifully!) here. I’m still not sure how I, personally, can overcome that desire for MORE and with no apparent reason why. But I did recently read something about how living in America is so stressful and really affects your sympathetic nervous system and now I can’t stop thinking about that.
As usual, your words are so thoughtful and eye-opening.
Should we run away to Italy or something?! Maybe the sun and pasta is more soothing!
I’m so grateful for you Sri!! Thank you!!
Please keep chipping away at all the bullshit. And write about it. Because you are healing me in the process!
Here’s to recalibrating. And knowing the damn ladder is rigged but climbing it in our way and time.
I loved this - it was more than enough. It felt like everything I feel all warped up inside me.
Awww this comment makes me so happy!!! I’m so grateful for you!!
Whatever hsppened to good old 'Self Actualisation'? Maslow is turning in his grave!
congratulations 🥳💥👍
it seems you are wary of giving yourself "enough" of that
at work or for the reflections, meditations truths you share here....dreams involving desired outcomes always seem to be fulfilled when we are fully engaged with living, embracing and accepting true natures and that leads where it is meant to go
I like that— being more engaged and less focused on the outcome!!
Hope you’re enjoying the snow!!!
Marvelous! or as we say in portuguese maravilhosa!!!! 💕
Ahhh thank you!!
Beautiful introspection. What feels right at the moment is the true measure of the quality of life. All is in succession no matter how we prefer to go about it. All is in succession even if we stop. Nobody knows what it really means to feel alive but ourselves. To each their own and each one is unique, honored and celebrated. Nothing is ever wrong, but it’s always fun to pretend as we talk to ourselves. 😍
Beautiful reflection, my friend!! Thank you!!