detour

but not failure

(I’m struggling this cold, windy day to find the right words and string my thoughts together. So, a short post it is. Thank you, always.)

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Edgar G. Ulmer’s Detour, where the protagonists are doomed, not because they reject the script, but because they adhere to it too closely.

I’ve stood before a detour in the road and thought it was the end of the road entirely. I’ve tossed in and given up.

But folks, there’s always an arrow there. It shows where the detour goes, and if you follow, you’ll eventually get back on course.

Going a bit out of the way shouldn’t disturb me - it does but I’m trying. And it’s hard to acknowledge that sometimes it’ll be necessary to back up.

But I’m seeing now that there is an art in knowing when to back up and when to detour.

The essential thing is having faith that you will make it, eventually. That there is magic in moving at my own speed, on my own terms.

The alternative is plunging off the bridge that isn’t even there. I can’t do that anymore.

I’m starting to make lots of U-turns and look more closely at the monitor as I shift into reverse. Because it’s all okay. Backing up. Going full throttle in drive. It’s my journey. Not hers or even theirs. Mine.

Maybe I’m just one detour away from despair. Or maybe the next detour is where I’ll come alive.

I don’t have a map but I’m forcing myself to keep moving. That’s the trick, just keep moving.

With my heart poised in love and openness, my emotional energy can never be drained by the challenging events of life.

Maybe, one day, I’ll start to enjoy going off-script.

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When you click that ❤️, my heart explodes with joy.